TV Watch: How To Get Drunk Quick

I've invented the world's worst drinking game.

While watching TV, if a commercial makes an overt reference to the state of the economy, take a shot. I promise you'll sleep soundly tonight.

To be specific, don't mince around. So if a commercial notes that "stocks are dropping", then that's a shot. But if it just "you'll appreciate our low prices", that's not. But "with less money in your wallet, you'll appreciate our low prices" - shot.

And if the entire ad is about the economy, like "no really, it's a good time to buy a house" from some trade organization that is selling on nothing but that concept, finish your drink.

Pac Man ... In Spain

Dude gets around...

iPhone: On the other hand, In App Purchasing is pretty good.

Let's get specific and say that I don't exactly agree with some of the doom and gloom about downloadable content. All jokes about horse armor aside, DLC hasn't resulted in a glut of worthless content foisted on users, nor has any developer been dumb enough to nickel and dime users just to actually play the game properly. Nor has it stopped some developers and publishers from continuing to offer free downloads and updates.

If we use either the console or PC market as an example, DLC has been more or less a boon for gamers. On the PlayStation 3, PAIN is a brilliant example. It's a low cost game with low cost DLC that lets user try the game out in phases and pay out as they feel like it. We're big fans of the game, and honestly the model works great.

More to the point, DLC gives developers an option (at least, I think it does - I haven't played with the SDK yet) to offer a demo version of their software and unlock the full version without forcing the user to download a new version and delete the old one. "Try to buy" options have been woefully lacking on the platform, and this seems like a pretty mature response from Apple to alleviate the situation.

Apple's MMS Radio Claim: Dubious At Best, Outright Lying At Worst

While there were some pretty interesting bits about the preview of the iPhone's upcoming 3.0 OS, there was one bit that really set me off. Apple claims that they can deliver MMS for 3G phones, but not first gen phones, because:

"Q: Is there a physical hardware problem on the first-gen iPhone that prevents it from doing MMS?

A: It’s a different radio, so it is a physical issue."

Which would be a pretty convenient explanation, because it would mean that Apple isn't playing the bad guy here - they just made a major design blunder in the first place by not introducing some hardware, right? So maybe they're stupid - but surely not evil.

Well, the problem with this claim is ... if it's true then how is it a jailbroken app can get MMS on a first gen? I quoteth again:

Hi everyone,

I own a 1st gen Iphone, and I have been fortunate to have swirly up and running. Currently I’m working on getting my friend’s 1st gen to work, however my method of calling up ATT and demaning to have MMS added to the account won’t work anymore.

Isn't that curious? And the mumblevine tells me that by "radio", we shouldn't necessarily think of a specific wire shoved into the case, but rather a combination of hardware and firmware, with the later almost certainly being flashable.

So Apple claims they can't get first gens to work, although jailbroken apps can. Or could. I haven't tried myself, since I don't want to jailbreak my phone, but I find the statement "however my method of calling up ATT and demaning to have MMS added to the account won’t work anymore", very curious.

Let's pose the question for a moment - why wouldn't the first gen iPhones have supported MMS in the first place?. It's a very basic feature of cell phones, extremely common - to the point where it never actually occurred to me that my phone didn't support it until I tried to get a message from The Girl one day, and ran afoul of the extremely poor viewmymessage.com.

Remember that the first gen iPhone offered a $99 unlimited data plan, which was rather unique at the time. Remember that the iPhone 3G has a completely different data plan, which is more expensive to let AT&T recoup all that subsidized hardware in a matter of a couple of years.

Well, what happens when people start sending messages of their cats to each other all day long? Bandwidth costs rise, and suddenly that $99 plan doesn't look so good to AT&T. Emails, sure they can suck up bandwidth - but most people will prefer to use WiFi for those anyway. MMS is all cell, all the time.

The smoking gun here is viewmymessage.com, clearly a byproduct of AT&T design shoved onto the original iPhone to save AT&T money. It's an embarrassingly bad implementation, buggy and user unfriendly.

And Apple just told first gen users that they can suck it, they're stuck with it.

And I'm guessing the real incompatibility is contractual, not technical. I challenge anyone to offer concrete proof to the contrary.

No MMS For iPhone 2G???

Are god damn kidding me, Apple? Not buying it.

My iPhone 3.0 Wishlist

The 3.0 OS coming out (for developers at least) today is a great welcome home present. Here's what I'd like to see:

- Proper MMS support. I still think this is an almost disturbingly user unfriendly aspect of the current phone and one we keep running into it.

- Power saving modes. I don't why this doesn't come up more, but maybe it is because I travel so much that I'm constantly fiddling with my settings for better conservation. But if instead of just "Airplane" I could also do "Battery Saving", "Performance", etc., it would be quicker than adjusting WiFi, brightness, etc...

- Cut and paste. This wasn't nearly as I high on my list until I ran into some hitches with an app I was working with ... now I'd really like to see it.

- Bluetooth data tethering and the SDK support to handle it. Forcing everyone to use WiFi to do wireless transfers is a burden.

- SDK access to calendar. There is already access to contacts, and there's nothing more evil I can do to your cal that I can do with your address book.

- SDK access to music. Apple needs to ease off that people are going to stop using the iPod program. Pay attention to other gaming platforms that allow you to use your own soundtrack.

I could probably keep going, but I'll hope for these for now...

Home Invasion

We've returned stateside after a highly picturesque and overall very successful trip to Spain (Majorica, to be specific). Flickr feed to follow.

Still getting a bit accustomed to the time zone, but normal posting should commence shortly.

Game Play: Killzone 2 First Look

Well the preorder did come on time and since I was pretty much brainfried when I got home on Friday, it was perfect timing. Killzone 2 was just what the doctor would have ordered, if the doctor was a gaming freak without a medical license.

There has been a lot of noise about reviewing Killzone 2, and I've already talked about that to some length. Now having played at least a fistful of the game, that being a portion of the single player, the whole thing is even more ridiculous.

It's true, Killzone 2 doesn't innovate. However since it belongs in a genre which only seems to try to be truly innovative every couple years or so, let's just hold that remark in check for a moment.

The first thing you'll notice about the game is that it is extremely attractive. It falls into the kind of level design which is trying for highly realistic locations, and very few of them "feel like a level", so to speak, although the occasional "I bet you know what will happen when you walk into that room" still occurs. The areas are dense with objects, and honestly the game throws so much visual information at you that at times you may forget to blink. This especially true once you start shooting the whole thing up.

While gritty and realistic, the design can also be somewhat monochromatic and dark. Granted, you're in a killzone and not a forest reserve or whatnot, but it does setup the reason that even though pretty ridiculous from a logical point of view, you'll be darn glad the Helghast decided to put those funky red lights on all their helmets. While it seems like pretty silly military decision, it sure beat being sniped from the shadows for hours on end.

For most of the game, you'll go from point A to point B, killing everything in between, and then occasionally hunker down in point C to kill things that come at you.

Never let it be said this game is not aptly named.

A huge hinge of the game is the cover mechanic, and for me is where some of the beauty and some of the problems lie. To do it completely, you'll be pushing L2 to keep close to your cover, pull the L stick to poke around, probably hit R3 in order to get zoomed in, and then fire with R1.

It takes a little getting used to - and the payoff isn't insanely great. It works, and it works in an amazing number of situations which lend to the complexities of the game, but as mechanics go it is neither crisp nor smooth. Yet, at the same, that kind of works for me, because some of the button press methods I've seen other games, which simplify the process ... well ... they don't stress me out. I'm not a fan of Killzone's because it makes me work, but I oddly like it because it makes me think, and if I absent mindedly do something wrong - I get shot up for it.

Which is why Killzone 2 really works for me. It's not a "thinking man's shooter" or some such nonsense, but like many successful games in the genre, you do get farther if you think about the scenario. There are times when taking cover makes sense, there are times when rushing makes sense, and there are times when backtracking to get that sniper rifle makes sense.

It's not a perfect shooter. It's certainly not the most unique one. It's not a Halo killer or Gears of War killer. But it is really, really good one and it should be recognized as such. It's a top tier rendition of the FPS genre and can safely rub shoulders with the big guys. If I had to sum it up, I'd say someone took the original Killzone, slammed it alongside Criterion's Black and expanded the whole into a deep and engaging arena. I don't care that Killzone 2 doesn't break the mold, because I am too damn busy shooting the hell out the mold to notice.

OK, off to travel now. Will try multiplayer in a few weeks when I'm back in the country.

The Rain In Spain

Going to just call it and say bon voyage for about two weeks, peeps. I have to run to my hometown, jump onto a quick business trip and fly out of the country by this time next week. Going to Spain for a family vacation, so won't have much access to a computer outside the iPhone for a while, and probably not much there.

Thanks to Matt for loaning The Girl and I Prince of Persia, which is a title people kept asking me why I wasn't playing and now I know why. Weird as it might sound, it's more like the game I expected Mirror's Edge to be, has some of the best controls on the planet and a great female character. What's not to like?

My Killzone 2 preorder might be delayed, which is fine since I doubt I'd have much time for it this weekend anyway. I'm also trying to find someone to test out FEAR 2 for me, so I might have something of a review roundup to do when I get back.

Until then, good hunting.

TV Watch, Lost: The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

A thumbs up here, this was upwards to one of my favorite episodes if not for any other reason than being another well handled Locke piece. It didn't really show us a lot new or at least not much that we couldn't have somehow ascertained - with the obvious exception of the events regarding Locke's death, and some of the new background information on Widmore.

Let's talk Widmore for a moment. We've had pretty good indications thus far that he is a pretty bad guy - but we might need to keep a record sheet here for both him and Ben to keep things clear. He sent mercenaries to capture Ben to the island, and there was the strong suggestion there to kill nearly everyone else but Ben as well. And those guys were certainly not Boy Scouts, but they also didn't simply go into the island guns blazing.

Ben, on the other hand, clearly has blood on his hands.

We know Widmore is something of a son of a bitch, and Penny has more than a few daddy issues to show for it, but has Widmore ever really lied to the Losties? Is it possible Widmore is a good guy with bad PR and Ben the inverse of that?

And naturally the key question in my mind is why Ben would kill Locke after hearing that Locke knew who Ms. Hawking was. Was it to protect the Lamppost? Or did Ben think that this somehow meant that Locke was in Widmore's camp? Being leader of the Others certainly seems to have some odd retirement plans, either way.

Now we have two sets of Losties, one in the past with Jin around the Lagoon and Locke in the future who seems to possibly be at the Hydra station, but I couldn't tell if that was confirmed last night.

Guessing things will still turn out to be Locke vs. Jack in the end, too. Maybe sooner rather than later.

RIA Cowboy On Our Flex Visualization

James Ward, Flex evangelist extraordinaire, interviewed a couple of my co-workers from Model Metrics about the data visualization we did in Flex using Salesforce.com. Congrats to Dave, who doesn't appear in the video, but has the distinction of doing all the hard work on it.

TV Watch: Oscars 81

So the opening number to this year's Oscars was laughably bad, a misguided attempt at being humorously self-deprecating which came off as one part campy and other parts hurried, cheesy mess. At its worst it simply reminded us of some of worst bits about the Oscars, especially the musical number ribbing The Reader for the fact that nobody had actually watched it.

I'm not saying it wasn't accurate, it just wasn't funny. I'm also not saying Hugh Jackman can't sing. I'm just saying there are times when maybe he shouldn't.

That first step aside, though, it was actually one of the better ceremonies in recent history. And to be fair to Hugh, there's only so much you can do with bad lyrics - no matter how chiseled your chin might be. For the most part, he did quite and well and ushered along a good show. The self-love bits were short and well produced, the award giving was kept crisp and swift and the musical numbers even somewhat entertaining. One of the reasons we watch the Oscars is to mock them, and there sure was still plenty of that - but there was less painful groaning and wanting to throw things at the screen.

In fact, my only real disappointment was Mickey Rourke not winning. I was half expecting him to take an eye out with that pinky ring during his acceptance speech.

Not a lot of upsets, but all in all it was a pretty vanilla selection anyway. I'm not sure Button deserved all that it got, and in retrospect I'm a bit taken Blanchett wasn't nominated for the film, since I honestly think she was the best part of the film.

High points include Winslet telling Streep to suck it up, an Oscar being balanced on a chin as part of an acceptance speech (best. speech. ever.) and quite possibly the best example of why you should use a translator in some situations.

Game Play: Texas Holdem (iPhone)

Chris seemed to have caught on to the fact that I was fishing him right before going all in, which is a shame since I had two aces and nearly took all his money. Holly was doomed before the river was down, but I don't think she knew it until then.

What, what the hell am I talking about? I hate Texas Holdem. It's poker for the short attention span crowd, a hypercommercial sport for people who like watching this kind of stuff on tournaments. For people who want to go to poker tournaments without actually being, like, professional gamblers.

Which is I guess why this works for me - trapped on the iPhone, it is impossible to take this game too seriously. All-in for four thousand in Paris on a pair of deuces? Ah, why not. Nobody will see your shame and you can make all that virtual money back in a half hour anyway.

There's also the fact that this game is an Apple title, pretty much a launch app for the iPhone and a textbook example of doing things right on the device. Store state when the app closes for any reason? Check. Horizontal and vertical views? Check? Designed specifically for each view, with a different purpose? Check. Multiple hints on using the touch controls correctly? Check. It's a very complete package. WiFi multiplayer? Check (LAN only, though).

The practically Sega CD memory invoking video players might make the aging gamer giggle a little, but they actually play well in the game. Bottom line is that its a solid poker title, even if you aren't the biggest poker fan.

TV Watch: Lost, 316

This was a weird episode. I can't really say it was bad, it was good, but I did enjoy it. Not as much as last week, but it was fun.

It was, however, an odd combination of explaining things and obviously not explaining thing. Hawkings gave us a brilliant backstory into DHARMA, even dropping the interesting clue that DHARMA had to find the island themselves. I had made the assumption that DHARMA was created by islanders who had left the island and returned, but apparently not. Also, we know more about how the island is hard to find, that it keeps moving, etc.

Course, what remains to be seen is if any of the backstory into how Sayid or Hurley got on the plane, or what happened to Ben or (more importantly) what happened to Aaron will get told. My guess is yes, and they'll comprise the other section of "off island" stories for the season, especially since I don't see how they could possibly leave the fate of our Little Prince in question.

So if we focus purely on this episode, it did a few things I've always asked from Lost. It explained things, it kept the plot well focused and it didn't jump back and forth between meaningless plotlines. It still didn't make much sense, mind you, and opens a long list of follow up questions - but we have to just let Lost be Lost sometimes.

So kind of a bridge episode, but possibly the best bridge episode.

Game Play: Noby Noby Boy (PSN)

I'm not even sure where to start on this one.

I'm making an assumption that I'm not the only person who downloaded Noby Noby Boy, the latest from Keita Takahashi, creator of one my all time favorites, Katamari Damarcy and thought what the hell?.

But I need to specific here. Because I thought what the hell when I first saw a video for Katamari too, and a bit when I played it the first time. The difference there is that I giggled a bit when I did it. Noby Noby Boy is just a mess of ideas with no giggle factor at all.

OK, when you fart out a sheep, you might giggle. But it won't sustain you because you don't really know why you're farting sheep, or eating sheep or doing much of anything. After going through what might be possibly the worst designed tutorial mode in the history of gaming, one so bad that the game might as well just dump you into the game sans instructions, you're left in a small playing field with objects and animals. Near as I can tell, you're supposed to stretch your "Boy" to be long enough to eat certain objects. This is so you can. Um. Eat more objects? Stretch some more?

The fairy who insisted you guess through half the controls in the first place says the game is about experimenting and exploring. Except, there isn't much to explore or experiment with. The game area is incredibly small, there's a limited number of things to interact with and none of it seems to do anything significant.

I go back to the difference between Flower and Linger In Shadows. The former is a smooth, almost soothing experience that doesn't need to call out the game mechanics at work here. The latter is a confusing mess of controls as a poor substitute for real interactivity.

Noby seems to fall somewhere in between, but with none of the artistic flair of either. It's not really a game, it's someone's demo project. It's Keita's experiment, and the only reason Sony sold it is because bloggers could put Katamari into a sentence with PSN for a change. The only reason I can see anyone playing it is for idle curiosity, and I can't imagine that would be for long.

I can understand and even respect someone not wanting to produce the same game over and over - but just give us the version of Katamari the PlayStation 3 deserves, and not this crap.

Add on top of all this the fact the controls are pretty lousy. To zoom in and out, for instance, you hold down the shoulder button and tilt the controller. Which might work OK, except it seems impossible to control accurately and you end up without any fine grain view to the game.

You will zoom any time you want to view the in game menu, which is produced in a series of clouds from the chimney on your house that is shaped like a head that spouts bubbles out of its nose.

I kid you not.

Even at the $5 asking price, I can't recommend this one.