Game Play: Noby Noby Boy (PSN)

I'm not even sure where to start on this one.

I'm making an assumption that I'm not the only person who downloaded Noby Noby Boy, the latest from Keita Takahashi, creator of one my all time favorites, Katamari Damarcy and thought what the hell?.

But I need to specific here. Because I thought what the hell when I first saw a video for Katamari too, and a bit when I played it the first time. The difference there is that I giggled a bit when I did it. Noby Noby Boy is just a mess of ideas with no giggle factor at all.

OK, when you fart out a sheep, you might giggle. But it won't sustain you because you don't really know why you're farting sheep, or eating sheep or doing much of anything. After going through what might be possibly the worst designed tutorial mode in the history of gaming, one so bad that the game might as well just dump you into the game sans instructions, you're left in a small playing field with objects and animals. Near as I can tell, you're supposed to stretch your "Boy" to be long enough to eat certain objects. This is so you can. Um. Eat more objects? Stretch some more?

The fairy who insisted you guess through half the controls in the first place says the game is about experimenting and exploring. Except, there isn't much to explore or experiment with. The game area is incredibly small, there's a limited number of things to interact with and none of it seems to do anything significant.

I go back to the difference between Flower and Linger In Shadows. The former is a smooth, almost soothing experience that doesn't need to call out the game mechanics at work here. The latter is a confusing mess of controls as a poor substitute for real interactivity.

Noby seems to fall somewhere in between, but with none of the artistic flair of either. It's not really a game, it's someone's demo project. It's Keita's experiment, and the only reason Sony sold it is because bloggers could put Katamari into a sentence with PSN for a change. The only reason I can see anyone playing it is for idle curiosity, and I can't imagine that would be for long.

I can understand and even respect someone not wanting to produce the same game over and over - but just give us the version of Katamari the PlayStation 3 deserves, and not this crap.

Add on top of all this the fact the controls are pretty lousy. To zoom in and out, for instance, you hold down the shoulder button and tilt the controller. Which might work OK, except it seems impossible to control accurately and you end up without any fine grain view to the game.

You will zoom any time you want to view the in game menu, which is produced in a series of clouds from the chimney on your house that is shaped like a head that spouts bubbles out of its nose.

I kid you not.

Even at the $5 asking price, I can't recommend this one.

Edge Of Controversy

I almost commented on this before, except I find it rather hard to give a damn.

Edge gave Killzone 2 a 7 out of 10. Which honestly, I have no idea if that's a valid score or not - I have not played the game nor have I tried the demo (and don't me started on gamers acting like they're an authority on a game based on a demo). The review resulted in a flame war of hilarious proportions, recommended reading if there ever was such a thing for the genre.

Whether the game is good or not, or justifies the score, can't really say. But the review itself sucked. Even if it is an honest opinion of the game, it just isn't very good writing.

Here is an example:

It shares that laudable desire to see you through a level without fuss,‭ ‬hindered only by the constant fear of a fatal mistake.‭ ‬A gun game in the truest sense,‭ ‬its bullets and ragdolls offer a literal take on the‭ ‘‬theatre‭’ ‬of war,‭ ‬a rare pleasure since GoldenEye.‭

Right. A rare treat except GoldenEye. If you haven't played the umpteen military based shooters created since Counter-Strike went commercial, the vast majority of them utilizing increasingly more sophisticated ragdoll tech. A paragraph like this makes me think the writer (although technically here it is writers - it apparently took the entire Edge staff to produce this gem) just wants the reader to know: I played GoldenEye.

Which especially sad if that is supposed to count as old school in some way.

Example 2:

The fraught team dynamic is gone,‭ ‬as is Killzone’s neat trick of having a Helghast operative fighting by your side.‭ ‬The dialogue is functional,‭ ‬the motives obvious.‭ ‬And too much time is given to Rico Velasquez,‭ ‬the ISA’s version of the Cole Train.‭ ‬He’s rotten company,‭ ‬so foul-mouthed that you’ll wonder when gaming will overcome its‭ ‬latest obsession.‭

The "neat trick" was really "just another character", of course. And, what is exactly is supposd to be "gaming's latest obsession"? Foul-mouthed main characters? Maybe it's a "games that like to be more like Gears Of War's latest obsession," or "there was a lot of swearing in GTA IV, so we can do it too" kind of thing - but it's not like Flower features a cursing petal or anything. As obsessions go, there's nothing in that quote that really makes sense to gaming in general.

And the problem here is that Edge seems to be going out of its way to prove Killzone 2 to be banal. I'm half-surprised they didn't complain about the use of guns in a game.

Leading us to my favorite part:

Sentry bots‭? ‬You must be joking.‭ ‬If you can’t think for yourself after so many millions of dollars have‭ ‬been spent,‭ ‬surely it’s common courtesy to make your clichés interesting.‭ ‬Not here,‭ ‬it seems,‭ ‬where half the chapters feel like multiplayer maps full of bots and random waypoints.

Can someone tell me what exactly is wrong with sentry bots? Fallout 3 had a decent number of them, and other than their tendency to shoot large rockets in my direction - I never thought to myself, "wow, how unimaginative." I mean how about "another alien race based vaguely on insects" (Gears Of War), or "another alien race based vaguely on vampires/zombies/goth monsters" (Uh, also, Gears Of War), or how about a "men in the future will be roided out soldiers in large metal suits, using equipment with randomly placed LED lights" (You get the point).

And I'm not suggesting that Gears Of War was cliche or unimaginative, I'm just saying that the shooter genre has so many building blocks that get swapped around, it isn't very useful to point something like, "they used robots" as a part of a critique. Does Edge knock every game for using a cinematic that evokes a scene from a Valve game? No? Then shut the hell up.

Sentry bots. Edge goes on about sentry bots, but for the actual multiplayer portion of the game, we get:

In fact,‭ ‬few story-driven games have been so much more dramatic in multiplayer.‭ Freed of its narrative shackles,‭ ‬Killzone‭ ‬2‭’‬s deathmatches openly celebrate the tight controls‭ (‬jumping now included‭)‬,‭ ‬hand-made environments and technical beauty of a‭ ‬game that is,‭ ‬almost exclusively,‭ ‬about popping someone in the face or blowing them to kingdom come.‭

Separate development of the multiplayer modes has paid dividends,‭ ‬the badge and perks systems adding distinctive RPG flavour to a uniquely hardcore team-based experience.‭

And that's it. Which tells me nothing new that I didn't already know from the dozen Killzone 2 previews out there. I know someone who writes movie reviews not by watching movies, but by reading other reviews and paraphrasing them.

I'm not suggesting that Edge did that. But if they did, it would possibly would have been a better review.

I did like this portion:

Smart and nimble,‭ ‬the Helghast like nothing more than someone foolish enough to hide.‭ ‬This intimate,‭ ‬sizzling combat feels a lot like that of FEAR,‭ ‬but is actually more like another game of the time:‭ ‬Criterion’s Black.

Mostly because I've played FEAR and I've played Black, and so I understand what is being said. Oddly though, it's about the only part of the review well written and really, really made me want to play the game.



(Oh, and for anyone wanting to respond with some nitpicky response pointing out a grammar or spelling error, so how is it I get to be all high and mighty about writing - the answer is simple. I don't get paid for this. They do. And also, bite me.)

Errata: Battlestar Galactica's Report Card

I realized last night that I left Galactica off my list of scifi students yesterday. Which is pretty bad since I think it is hands down my favorite show so far this season. I often write these longer posts throughout the day, and these days my brain gets away from me.

I'll go be in the brig now.

Things That Happen On Lost

Via Graphjam Thanks, jvm.

TV Watch: Sci Fi Report Card

I don't get a chance to write weekly on every show out there, as I am only mortal and have an actual job as well. As a way to recap across the board, here's how the current crop of science fiction is doing on our books:

Heroes
Let's start with the problem child. Heroes and I have generally had a tumultuous relationship, but the show usually delivered the goods by season's end. Problem is that this season I'm just running out of caring. Is Claire annoyed with one of her fathers? Don't care. Has Parker picked up some new ability because apparently reading minds makes for really boring TV? Don't care. Does Hiro have any powers this week? Don't know. And don't care.

Heroes lacks any central theme in my eyes. It's not a show about salvation, or responsibility or even outright power. It doesn't really seem to be a show about anything except what random happenstance occurs on a group of people for a season. Were it not for the flaming bolts and flying around, this show could be Seinfeld. It needs to get rooted, clear out some weeds and produce a decent storyline. Grade: D+

Fringe
Fringe has me pretty well hooked at this point. I like the characters, the back plot is interesting and the monsters of the week well handled. That said, the show seems poised for trouble. It could follow so many bad examples and end up in the weeds in just no time flat. Incongruities, too many unexplained events, drawing out plots for seasons on end - all mistakes made by prior star pupils.

For now, I'll remain optimistic - if not just to wait to hear what random insanity comes from Walter next. It's a smart, well acted show that pulls enough material from past shows while remaining fresh and unique on its own. There's a few specific quibbles - like just how weird Massive Dynamic can be without reminding me of an episode of FLCL, but nothing serious. Grade: A-

Lost
Speaking of incongruities, too many unexplained events, drawing out plots for seasons on end - Lost has managed them all. The saving grace of it all at this point is the characters, which the writers still haven't forgotten are the heart of the show even if they've struggled keeping focus (perhaps they should tutor Heroes after class). This season feels like it is cleaning up, tightening up and straightening up the overall format - but there is no doubt that the episode neither feel as strong nor deliver the same punch as the first couple of seasons. The show isn't as fun as it was, feels less like a puzzle and has lost a lot of its flair - but there is an effort here and that effort is showing this season.

Lost is no longer an overachiever, but pretty certain it will graduate. Grade: B

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
My usually thumping point for Terminator has been - who wouldn't want to watch a show with Summer Glau as a cyborg? Fair to say that while the logic is sound, that's not enough to make a show last for more than a few episodes. So why should you watch this outside of a robotic River Tam?

First - Lena Headey, who is downright amazing as Sarah. At its center, the show is about the confused and complicated life of some refugees of time - and Lena embodies that confusion in her character. She morphs from bumbling mom to roadside warrior in nanoseconds. Secondly, the show is trying to be less of a B-movie TV show and more of a character study on living life as a refugee. There's less action, more dialogue and it works quite well.

What the show lacks right now is that moment where an episode just feels perfectly galvanized. The show has this wandering feel to it, which isn't entirely bad - but not entirely good. I used to tell people if they were interested in Lost - at least watch the first Locke episode. If you don't like that, you'll hate the show. Terminator doesn't have that working example yet. Grade: B+

Dollhouse
As I said in my post on the premiere, I don't think it is fair to judge Dollhouse until a few episodes into the season. I think the show is off to a robust start and I have a lot of confidence that Joss will mine the premise for what its worth. Still, all we have to go from is setup and groundwork. We'll check back in a couple months to see where it is. Grade: New Student


Battlestar Galactica
For this season, Galactica is my star pupil. This season has been off the charts good, evoking all the tidbits of the first season that drew viewers in the first place. Military SF, mystery and a pervasive sense of dread emanate from these episodes. The coup episodes are possibly my favorite in the series history and even with that storyline resolved, I'm hooked in for more.

I can't say that I'm sorry to see the show go, simply because I think the plot needs to have a definite ending. It does feel like the ending will shore up all the little elements we've been shown through the seasons and probably end with a bang (my guess right now - a literal one).Grade: A+.


Atlantis, Sanctuary, etc.
At some point I guess we should catch back up with Atlantis to see how it ended - it looks like we left off with a couple episodes to go. We didn't have a lot of interest left in the show, especially when it got cancelled and the content feeling like it was getting stuck in the mire all season long.

As for Sanctuary, I honestly can't even get past Amanda Tapping's awful rendition of an accent to even get through a preview, much less a whole episode. And yes, I know Tapping is British born and all, but from what I read she's upping the ante on it to be "technically accurate."

Don't know. Don't care. Don't watch. Grade: Absent from class

Movie Watch: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

Curious Case does quite a few things quite well, but there's nothing earth shatteringly good about the film. It is a solid enough period romance with a Forrest Gump feel to it, but obviously handled in a very serious and somber way.

The movie's handling of the main twist, that Benjamin is "headed the other way" as it is put in-film, allows the story to flesh out elements of it without turning the movie into a freak show. Characters are either aware of the scenario or completely oblivious. While this saves the movie from rapidly degenerating into an X-Files episode, it also removes the audience a bit from what is really happening to the main character. Also, there's an odd lack of conflict from most of the plot until nearly the very end.

The film is shot quite well, however, and the makeup and effects used on Brad Pitt are especially impressive. For the genre, I'd say this is an easy recommendation but I wouldn't feel like you have to watch it just because of the Oscar buzz.

Game Play: Flower (PSN)

What gets me about Flower, the latest from Jenova "flOw" Chen (and naturally, a lot of other people), is the etymology of it all. To describe Flower, you'd need to talk about flOw, Rez, Flight Simulator and Pac-Man. And I don't even know how much that would cover it all.

Flower isn't so much fun as relaxing, so toss some Katamari Damarcy in there too for that "virtual stressball" thing. There's some logic and the most thinly cut concept of puzzle solving, but mostly in that "the rules takes some figuring out" Chen kind of way.

Which, for the record, is why I won't compare this game to Linger In Shadows - although others might. Flower actually does have a ruleset and a pretty standard concept of game mechanics, whereas Linger often seemed to hope you'd just mash buttons until the scene moved in the right direction. Linger might occupy its own interesting corner as part of the demoscene, but I wouldn't put it too close to Flower in a Venn diagram.

The only bad part of Flower is that it is kind of short. You can get through the main portion in a night, no problem. Course, I think we still have an unlock to do by going back through and completing more of the original levels. I don't know if we'll ever play Flower to that extent, but even playing it last night makes the $10 price tag seem pretty worthwhile.

TV Watch: Dollhouse

The Dollhouse premiere was a pretty by the numbers send up, with some Whedonesque flair. The real beauty of this show is the setup, so there isn't going to be much meat in the first episode. Eliza seems extremely capable of pulling off what could be a nightmare for an actress - potentially playing a different character for every episode while also having to keep the baseline glassy persona of "Echo" to heart. The first part of the show made me a bit worried that most of echo's persona would come out as a brazen brunette who might be just as likely to drink under the table as kiss you, which isn't potentially much of a stretch for Dukshu - but the episode showed the range was there, which keeps the core of the show intact.

While not ideal for the performer, Whedon has created a beautiful concept for the writers. They can inject nearly any plot or character and fit Echo into it, while also milking the various portions of the Dollhouse itself for material. Seeing what Whedon can do with a spaceship, some crime and a couple stowaways - I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.

Nintendo's Massive Fail

The Girl is playing Animal Crossing: City Folk as I write this - watering some flowers and bouncing around. Our mortgage is half a millions now, but at least we have a basement.

At this very moment, Big Brother might be playing it as well. We've had some weird disconnect with exchanging friend codes all week long. We have no real way of knowing. We've got a cherry tree and our animals have been complaining about meeting people. Even more annoying, it seems our citizens know he's added our friend code, because they've mentioned him by name. The animals in the game can acknowledge him, but we cannot.

This is in despite of the fact that we've already played together on other games. Our Wiis know each other. We have each other's Miis.

City Folk is a game that constantly reminds you it wants to play online. I don't mean that in some subtle way, I mean the game actually asks you every time you play about why you don't have more friends you could be playing with.

But we're not. And I can't think of a single good reason why. Nintendo has just completely drop the ball here, and they've essentially dropped the ball when it comes to social networking and online multiplayer for the entire system.

They may be rolling in cash from selling more Wii Fits than a fruit stand sells fruit in the desert, but just because I have a Fit and Big Bro has Fit doesn't mean that we know what the hell the either is doing with it.

Compare this to the PlayStation 3 (or, I'm sure, the 360 to even larger degree). I've compared game play with other people just by looking at their trophies. If someone comes online, I can know about it even if I'm in the middle of a game. I've bounced around LittleBigPlanet with complete strangers on more than one occasion. It's as easy as selecting "Play Online" instead of "Play By Myself".

What's the name of Nintendo's console? It's the Wii, intentionally designed to invoke the imagery of playing in a group. But the only time that has really happened is some nights of bowling. Hell, I have a better sense of community from PlayStation Home than I do from any Wii Channel. The Animal Crossing commercials are all about playing online with people miles and miles away.

But it's just branding, just like the Wii itself. Yeah, I know I've complained about this before.

But I think it bears repeating.

Your Friendly Reminder: Dollhouse and Terminator

Whedon fans might stay home tonight. You've got new Terminator and the premiere of Joss' latest, Dollhouse.

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

First heard of this on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me during the "Stump the Listener" portion:

Few challenges, however, are as unusual as the latest foe facing Elizabeth Bennet of Pride and Prejudice – a plague of the undead sent to reduce the picturesque villages of Longbourn and Meryton to smouldering ruins.

Hollywood studios are bidding to turn a radical reworking of Austen’s most popular book, now called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a parody to be published in April, into a blockbuster movie.

Desperate for new ideas, studio chiefs hope “P&P&Z” will mark the bloody birth of a feral offspring of classic British literature: “monster-lit”.

-- Jane Austen's Bennet girls go zombie slaying

That it may be made into a movie, however, is new to me. Oh Darcy, I may have just swooned.

Watch FEAR Live Tomorrow, Friday the 13th

For those of us not lucky enough to win the FEAR 2 competition where you get whisked off to a secret location to frag the hell out of anyone, either because you weren't one of the eight selected or you don't live on the other side of the pond, you can watch it live tomorrow at http://www.whatisfearlive.com.

Kicks off at noon PST. Hope to have a review copy and a review henceforth soonish.

TV Watch: Lost, This Place Is Death

For me, this was quite possibly the best episode of the new bunch. The on/off island stories actually had something to do with each other and nearly everything about Jin and Locke was highly watchable. The scenes in the past with Danielle were pertinent and lacked that "clip show" feeling to them that some of the other time travel scenes have been burdened.

Faraday remains a person of interest, his mom apparently being some kind of keeper of the island and him trying to warn Charlotte not to die and all. Dollars to donuts he's the reason why she knew about the well, though I would put that under the "probably left unanswered" bucket of questions, in the grand scheme of things.

Was nice to see the smoke monster again, actually just the monsters in general on the island. Interesting to watch the "possessed" member of Crazy French Lady's crew talk about it as a security system, which Danielle would repeat years later. Odd, I thought, though, that the temple had Egyptian style glyphs on it.

Course, to bring it all together again - let us recall that one translation of the timer hieroglyphs was essentially "the underworld".

So maybe the place is death? Not that the Losties are necessarily dead, but maybe the island is a gate to something else.

I'd like to start a petition

To get Google to blacklist Experts Exchange. Maybe I'm alone on this - but it is insanely annoying to try and research questions only to get to a forum which requires a subscription before they'll show you anything. Do they have the answer? Do they not? Is it a boat? Maybe it's a boat!

I don't care if it's a yacht, I'm not paying a subscription so that I can find out what is behind door number two. The point is - these are invalid search results. They're not resulting in any useful information, they result in an ad for the Exchange. They're taking up extremely valuable space for other people with probably less evil SEO methods that might offer real answers.

Dear LittleBigPlanet: I was *this* close to giving up

I'm really, really not a fan of platformers. I put up with them back in the day when they were more or less the predominant life form in the gamingverse, but now I've got all sorts of options and so jumping from point to point in the dire hope that I don't fall so that I don't have to restart from another point, or worse - the very beginning - just isn't wildly appealing to me.

But some surprise me. I played through to nearly every star of Super Mario 64 and barely even noticed the time had passed. And quite honestly, LittleBigPlanet may be the best platformer ever made.

But it's still a platformer and hence when I spend twenty minutes or so jumping on a stupid a trampoline because is the only way to finish the level - it does suck the fun out a bit. This is a point nearly three-fourths the way through The Wedding Level, and it drove me insane.

For the record - you jump as the tramp is just going back up. Not before, or after - or your little sackperson will flail around like a monkey. Once you get the hang of it, it isn't that bad. But until then - it is insanely annoying.

So it was nearly a shelf moment, but I'm glad it wasn't. I've moved on from The Wedding already stumbled into some choice moments (like the dog with the lantern following you around). Was going through the creation tutorials before going to bed, hope to try them out some soon.