Lucas is a whore

Since we're talking about opinions and Star Wars anyway, let me make something clear before the deluge of Star Wars III game and movie rains upon us completely.

I think George Lucas is possibly one of the biggest whores on Planet Earth. I'm up for nominations about potential challengers, but from my perspective the field is clear, so to speak.

Look, if you're a big old Jedi fanboy who is right now brainlocked between what flame or defense or whatever to post, just go play with your lightsaber. Nothing I'm about to say matters to you anyway because you've long been sold on the idea that Star Wars is a gentle, nostalgic reminder of a simple yet visually grand epic can be told. Like the old television serials, but brought to life with modern splendor.

Fine. Personally I think the Star Wars legacy is about how an innovative film sold an audience on a somewhat what cut and dry story and instead of keeping hold of the grandiose nature that Episode IV began and Empire managed to scratch into, Lucas decided f' it, let's make some money. Jedi was all about selling ewoks and TIE fighters. It never really nagged me until old George started in with the sequels. Instead of offering a deep and interesting backstory with psychological thrills about the galaxy's most mass murderer ... we got midichlorins, scenes stolen from his own movies and some crappy dialogue about sand.

Here's the deal. I don't really care about the Revenge of the Sith because the Jedi are about to get what they deserve. You heard me. The whole premise is idiotic that this mega-powerful brat gets to stomp all over any kind of respect and authority and all the while people gasp as he "turns" to the Dark Side. Turns? More like glances, you gits - he was always dark. OK, first he was just annoying - then he was always dark.

Perhaps on it's own Episode III will be a decent film, but it can't be part of a great epic because Lucas shot his wad trying to recapture the marketing lust of his other movies. He sold out his epic story, if he ever had one, to Mattel. So even if Sith avoids all the logical jumps, trite dialogue and unbelievably dull plot of the first two prequels - it fails before minute one because it's part of a flawed story.

I hope Lucas loves to roll around in a big bed of cash. He could have had a truly special series of movies, but kiddified them instead. Will I see it? Yeah, because my brother pointed out that we're of that odd generation that will get to see them all in the theatre on release. So I'll finish what I started. Even if Lucas didn't.

But in my heart, when I get to the theatre, I'll really be hoping just to see a trailer for Serenity.