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Saturday, January 28, 2006

Even the trailer looks like ass

The Dungeon Siege trailer, I mean.

Sweet jesus, did Dungeon Siege even feature ninjas? I never played the full version, so I can't say for sure ... but I'm thinking ... no? I'm doing a little googling here, and I'm going to go with no. Maybe Uwe Boll is making a movie based on the game, with mods? I dunno. My favorite bit is the "simple farmer" ... who just happens to be the frakkin' Transporter ... and no, apparently not the same actor .. but the same kicking two people at once grew up on martial arts and Wheaties character.

Because that just fits that whole "form a party of fantasy characters" motif so well.

The trailer stinks of the kind of thing that makes Boll a failure. He is so clearly uncomfortable with actually directing a movie that everything has to be done in some kind of slo-mo, slipped frame, cheap quasi-Matrix action scene with a lot of latex customs covering everything up. There are scenes where even Burt Reynolds looks like he has no idea why he's on the set. He has this expression like he thinks Allen Funt is going to hop out from behind a tree. Lilliard apparently put it in his contract that he only had to do one take per line, and in related news ... Liotta's production company is going to rename itself to "Sinkhole Pictures" after this flop-to-be.

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1 comment:

Thomas said...

My God... it's full of washed up stars and ren fair wannabes!

Nice orc costumes, Uwe.