Game Play: Duke Nukem 3D (iPhone)

Duke's days of being forever may be over, but he can still live on in the world of ports, including over to the iPhone.

Sadly, it does not both kick ass and chew bubblegum. It looks like a Duke, sounds like a Duke - but does not walk like a Duke. The controls are abysmal and suck all of the original action out of the title. The developers tried to compensate with a wide variety of options - but none really work. It speaks to the difficulty of doing a good 3D shooter on a buttonless platform, sure, but that's hardly justification for purchase.

Trick someone else into buying it, maybe, and look over their shoulder. Otherwise a pass.