Seriously, why do shoelaces suck?

Can anyone explain to me how it is that I've bought two pairs of shoes in recent history with like, the worst design laces in the world? One being slick and round, which basically means that you can triple knot them and they'll just slowly untie themselves. The others being about five times longer than any person would require, thin and also slick ... which means that they flop about until something snags them and then just pull apart.

They're shoelaces. They are meant to be tied, and you know, stay tied. And we had this technology when I was a kid, I remember it quite clearly. I still have a pair of canvas sneakers with perfectly normal laces that, well, tie and stay tied.

How is it that this rather urban point of technology is evolving into something much, much worse? Is there a consumer demand I'm not aware of?