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Monday, March 06, 2006

Wow. Oscars. WTF.

I normally rag on the Oscars being a highly predictable orgy of Hollywood self-love. A kind of final auto-erotic schlockfest where celebrities can remind themselves how great they are by honoring a lot of movies that not even they watched. In years past, predicting winners hasn't been terribly heard ... just cross check between nominees that are darling favorites or maybe closely tied to the Hollywood machine (with the obvious exceptions of a few categories).

Last night though, was completely off the wall. Some highlights:

  • Jon Stewart opening the proceedings by poking fun at Hollywood's ties to Democrats ... and not winning stuff. Funny. Hilarious. Just not the usual Oscar oogly woodgly nonsense. And there weren't even annoying actors to break up the jibing, like what happened with Chris Rock. By the time Stewart made fun of the dedication clips ... he was my personal hero (again).

  • Best song contained the word pimp ... in the title.

  • Unrecognizable: Naomi Watts and Michelle Williams. Watts was covered in some kind of android plastic skin. Williams apparently stopped eating two weeks ago, which is a shame because she was a lot cuter before.

  • Dolly Parton is still alive?

  • Good Night and Good Luck: 0. Three 6 Mafia: 1.

  • The chick from Legally Blonde as well as the chick from The Mummy are now Oscar winning actresses.

  • Penguins.

  • Finally, I don't think Crash won Best Picture. I was watching, and old Jack was clearly drunk, stoned, both or perhaps just really strung out. I mean, he forgot that the producers were involved in the process, almost left before giving out the award and almost fell at least once. I think he was just making up something so he could get off the stage and was one whiskey shy of awarding the Oscar to himself.

    But I like unpredictable. Stewart was very good for the Oscars and once again ... it seems like the show is managing to take itself less and less seriously. Next year, I vote they replace the President of the Academy speech ... easily the most worthless waste of time in an already drawn out affair ... with Stupid Human Tricks.

    Update: Stewart is getting pretty panned, like in this Forbes review. Hey, I laughed several times. I don't blame Jon if his jokes weren't as funny to the ultraelite of Hollywood. They can have fun on their own time.

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    jvm said...

    It was on in our home for like an hour. During that time I felt like I heard someone say "you have to experience movies on the big screen" like a dozen times.

    Please, try to be a little subtle in begging people to go to movies in theaters.

    Josh said...

    Yeah, that part was pitiful. And obvious. Especially with the President's speech, which at one point made it sound like people had forgotten theatres existed.

    Which, once I get a 50" plasma ... I plan on.

    Jeffool said...

    Actually I read it as "Three 6 Mafia: 1, Scorsese: 0".

    I was working last night so I didn't get to see it, but that's what everyone tells me. And a great line something to the effect of (referring to a giant Oscar statue,) "If we tear it down, will Democracy spread throughout Hollywood?"

    And I liked Crash. *shrug*

    Josh said...

    RIght, Stewart compared it to Scorcese ... but by the end of the night many of us were surprised the Good Night and Good Luck continued on awardless.

    I suppose if Dolly Parton had one, then it would have been really shocking.

    TBH, I haven't seen Crash. My suspicions are completely based on Nicholson's inability to stay still than the quality of a film.